Personal: Do you enjoy being fat?

QUESTION

I am not trying to be offensive but I follow you on twitter and you seem comfortable in your skin. You even have orobo on your bio. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you lost weight? You are pretty and I think you would look even prettier. Do You really enjoy being fat or is it a front?

DAMI

Wow, well thank you for the "pretty" compliment. About 12 years ago,I went for a get-together. They did a pick a partner thing... no one picked me. In fact, there were about 3 or 4 guys left and someone goes who wants the orobo... everyone laughed. I went home pained. I was so pissed off. I was so hurt, I was so angry and I was so sad.


That same day, I tried to commit suicide because I didn't know how to change myself for others to be happy with me. I drank a lot of painkillers. After about 30 minutes of waiting, something got me up from my bed and I ran straight to the bathroom to throw up. I was about to kill myself for people who didn't care how I felt. They insulted me and my weight to feel good about themselves and I was about to give them satisfaction.
 From that day on, only Dami's thoughts about Dami meant anything. I'm fat... so? fix your life... leave me to fix mine. My confidence allowed others to see DAMI not just some orobo girl.

This year, I made a promise to someone. He said promise me you'd lose weight, please. You will have more opportunities in your industry and I said yes. It is also better to start being health conscious now before it is too late because fat or not, health is wealth. I love myself the way I am (sometimes sha because some fashion trends just come out to spite me) but I also love challenges and I do not make promises I do not intend to keep.

So do i enjoy being fat? yes and no. Is my confidence a front? no. Am I ashamed of my weight? NO. I really do not care how others see me. When I look at myself the things that put me down isn't the weight issue. trust me.. it's more like "why is my bank account still looking like this?"

So in two years when I am a steady size 14... someone might still look at me as fat and wonder how is she so comfortable... they wont know its because at that point in time I am sure I am happy with me.